The Orchid Thief – Susan Orlean

I love Susan Orlean – I still spout fun facts from The Library Book with alarming frequency – so when I saw a copy of her earlier book, The Orchid Thief, I had to grab it. It’s “a true story of homicidal jealousy and plant crimes in Florida”, a story she originally pursued for the New Yorker through the shadowy subculture of obsessive orchid collectors.

The events of The Orchid Thief take place in the mid-90s, centering around the arrest and conviction of a man named John Laroche. Orlean calls him “the most moral amoral person” she’s ever met, and he’s a captivating character. His crime? Poaching rare orchids, with a team of Seminoles as cover, from the Fakahatchee Strand State Preserve in Florida (i.e., the swampiest swamp you can imagine). “Being an orchid hunter has always meant pursuing beautiful things in terrible places,” Orlean says (page 67).

Laroche could be described as a plant dealer, or a horticulturalist, but as Orlean depicts him, he’s more of a professional hobbyist. He develops single-minded obsessions with niche interests, and pursues them by immersing himself in them completely and coming up with get-rich-quick schemes.

From the first time I’d heard of Laroche, I had been fascinated by how he managed to find the fullness and satisfaction of life in narrow desires—the Ice Age fossils, the turtles, the old mirrors, the orchids. I suppose that is exactly what I was doing in Florida, figuring out how people found order and contentment and a sense of purpose in the universe by fixing their sights on one single thing or one belief and desire.

The Orchid Thief (Page 302)

What’s more, he does all kinds of mental gymnastics to convince himself that the more underhanded plans are on the up-and-up. For instance, stealing the orchids from the Fakahatchee was actually moral, because it would stop others from poaching them and show the lawmakers the holes in their legislation so they can tighten them in the future. He’s a whacky guy, but fascinating to read about.

The thing is, although The Orchid Thief ostensibly revolves around Laroche, it doesn’t really hone in on why he – or anyone else – becomes so obsessed with orchids that they’re willing to lie, cheat, and steal. It’s like Orlean planned to write a profile on Laroche and his ilk, but frequently found herself sidetracked. The chapter on the British history of orchid hunting is a particular slog – I was eager to get back to what Laroche was doing, even though Orlean was doing her best to make the background fun, with lots of interesting tid-bits and humourous asides.

Orlean doesn’t manage to get to the heart of anything in The Orchid Thief. There’s plenty of wild and interesting anecdotes (mostly at least somewhat relevant), but not enough depth in Orlean’s exploration for the reader to truly invest in any of the key players. Laroche is fascinating as a ‘character’, but he’s never anything more than a spectacle for the reader – you want to watch him, but there’s no reason to root for him. I felt somewhat validated by reading after that professional book critics had said similar things: Ted Conover “noted the giftedness of the storytelling, while [also] noting that Orlean’s structure often suffered” for the New York Times.

So, I suppose it’s a case of expectations management. Don’t come to The Orchid Thief looking for a profile of an interesting man or an account of a baffling crime. Treat it more like a memoir, the story of Orlean’s lost year (or two) following orchid obsessives around Florida and reading the police blotter for intriguing stories about plant crimes.

Next on my to-do list: checking out the film based on The Orchid Thief. Apparently Charlie Kaufman tried for a long time to adapt Orlean’s book to a screenplay, and struggled immensely with it. In the end, he got so frustrated that he ended up writing a film about his struggle to write the film, and that became Adaptation (2002). I watched the trailer, and it looks wild. Meryl Streep plays Susan Orlean, which is basically the gold-standard for “who would play you in the movie of your life”. Apparently, Orlean struggled to accept the screenplay as it was presented initially, but she came around.

[Reading the screenplay] was a complete shock. My first reaction was “Absolutely not!” They had to get my permission and I just said: “No! Are you kidding? This is going to ruin my career!” Very wisely, they didn’t really pressure me. They told me that everybody else had agreed and I somehow got emboldened. It was certainly scary to see the movie for the first time. It took a while for me to get over the idea that I had been insane to agree to it, but I love the movie now. What I admire the most is that it’s very true to the book’s themes of life and obsession, and there are also insights into things which are much more subtle in the book about longing, and about disappointment.

Susan Orlean (On Adaptation)

My favourite Amazon reviews of The Orchid Thief:

• “Great if you have insomnia. You will be sound asleep within 5 minutes. This is the history of orchids and a guy who knows about orchids. That’s about it.” – bobbysgirl
• “I was so disappointed in the language in this book. I had to stop reading. Interesting topic to bad it was spoiled by the filth.” – V. P. Hafler
• “They took orchids illegally and felt justified doing it. No better than folks who hoard toilet paper.” – Victoria Friendly
• “Why didn’t I just read the encyclopedia for information on orchids and the Seminoles? What was so special about Laroche as a character? Was he really that boring or does Orlean really write that horribly?” – Joy B. Hikel