101 Funny Book Tweets - Keeping Up With The Penguins

101 Funny Book Tweets

May 27, 2022 / Sheree / 2 Comments

We talk a lot of shit about Twitter, but it’s actually a wonderful platform for pithy jokes. To celebrate me finally getting in gear and properly starting a dedicated Keeping Up With The Penguins Twitter account, here are 101 funny book tweets. (Okay, fine, I also needed to find a use for the ridiculously large bank of screenshots taking up space on my phone…)

101 Funny Book Tweets - Keeping Up With The Penguins

Funny Book Tweets of 2022

Screenshot of a Tweet by @isabeatty: "they should do a remake of west side story but place it in 1400s italy and have it be two warring families instead of gangs" — @isabeatty

Screenshot of a Tweet by @bf_crane: "The Hobbit to LOTR pipeline is hilarious in retrospect. It would be like if 20 years after Stuart Little was published, E.B. White slammed down 1000 pages about how Stuart's nephew killed the devil." — @bf_crane

Screenshot of a Tweet by @drozphallic: "Not Wordle, just the copy of the Great Gatsby from your high school library." followed by a series of emojis laid out to look like the iconic blue book cover with a weeping face. — @drozphallic

Screenshot of a Tweet by @deathbybadger: "GANDALF: keep that ring safe you could be in mortal peril I'll be right back
(twenty years later)
GANDALF: (gets off horse) ok so you're not going to believe what I found out
FRODO: IVE BEEN LIVING IN FEAR FOR TWO DECADES WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN. I SLEEP WITH A KNIFE" — @deathbybadger

Screenshot of a Tweet by @TheHyyyype: "she huckle on my berry til i finn" — @TheHyyyype

Screenshot of a Tweet by @BeckyFromAlaska: "Shocked & dismayed to learn that in Anna Karenina, the character Anna Karenina doesn’t show up in the story until like page 285 of the book. If Jerry Seinfeld hadn’t shown up on Seinfeld until season 2, they would have been cancelled and sued." — @BeckyFromAlaska

Screenshot of a Tweet by @deathbybadger: "every day I think about how three elves, seven dwarves and nine humans could be all be simultaneously tricked into accepting cursed jewellery from a suspicious stranger and then I remember how much I desire power above all else" — @deathbybadger

Screenshot of a Tweet by @aliiterative: "Kurt Vonnegut was much more successful than his brother, Verbose Vonnegut." — @aliterative

Screenshot of a Tweet by @RuthWareWriter: "I just read an Amazon review (not for one of my books) that said "it feels like the author was just making it up as they went along" and I can't stop laughing. Like, dude, I hate to tell you this..." — @RuthWareWriter

Screenshot of a Tweet by @fakehistoryhunt: "Finally a book that's actually useful." with a picture of a book with the title How to talk to your dog about The Fall of Constantinople — @fakehistoryhunt

Screenshot of a Tweet by @bookishseawitch: "hey man, sorry I'm late. yeah, thirteen dwarves and a wizard came over to my house and started singing. you know how it is." — @bookishseawitch

Screenshot of a Tweet by @AlixEHarrow: "i respect that fantasy as a genre has simply refused to standardize the spelling of "fairy." faerie. fae. fay. fair folk. fayrie. just an F followed by whatever vowels you have in your heart" — @AlixEHarrow

Screenshot of a Tweet by @SparkNotes: "Dylan Thomas when you try to go gentle into that good night" followed by a screenshot image of a man with a caption that says "[softly] don't" — @SparkNotes

Screenshot of a Tweet by @FuckboisOfLit: "roses are red
your husband’s a sleeper
but it’s a bad idea
to fuck the gamekeeper" — @FuckboisOfLit

Screenshot of a Tweet by Stephen King that reads: "Dinner: Get a nice salmon filet at the supermarket, not too big.
Put some olive oil and lemon juice on it.
Wrap it in damp paper towels.
Nuke it in the microwave for 3 minutes or so.
Eat it.
Maybe add a salad."
Followed by a Tweet by @procyonlotor99 that reads: "This maybe the shortest horror story you've ever written." — @procyonlotor99

Screenshot of a Tweet by @TwitterBooks: "hot pink font is a genre now" with four cropped images of book covers with hot pink text — @TwitterBooks

Screenshot of a Tweet by @AdamOPrice: "me, bullying don delillo: ohhh what's the matter? is modern society atomizing? is mass consumerism like an ancient death cult? is that why you're crying? are supermarkets our temples, you little baby?" — @AdamOPrice

Screenshot of a Tweet by @DrunkScribe: "I think the hotel managers in y’all’s romance novels should take a good hard look at how many beds they have vs how many they need bc this is getting ridiculous" — @DrunkScribe

Relatable Funny Book Tweets

Screenshot of a Tweet by @JRobb773: "Boss: Does anyone have any good ideas for employee appreciation day?

Me: *hand shoots up*

Boss: ...ideas that are not a Scholastic Book Fair.

Me: *hand lowers*" — @JRobb773

Screenshot of tweet from @PatrickNathan
"me: "omg I can't wait to read this!"
me: *places it on shelf for six years*"

Screenshot of a Tweet by @imteddybless: "i readjusted how i was holding my kindle and accidentally highlighted a word at random and a definition popped up. very stressed now that my kindle might think i don’t know what a fence is. i do" — @imteddybless

Screenshot of a tweet from @reniadeb: "no, that's my emotional support pile of unread books" — @reniadeb

Screenshot of a Tweet by @janteigh: "My entire personality comes from the fact that, at a very young age, a person of authority told me that the more books I read, the more free pizza I’d get." — @jhanteigh

Screenshot of a Tweet from @MagazineAmplify: "No jury would convict." with a picture of a headline that reads "Antarctic scientist stabs colleague who kept telling him endings of books he was reading" — @MagazineAmplify

Screenshot of a Tweet by @SketchesbyBoze: "I’m personally offended whenever I’m reading a book and it has no murders in it. “but love stories are what sells—” you know what people love? a good murder" — @SketchesbyBoze

Screenshot of a Tweet by @RacheyRagdoll: "why are people so judgemental about adults enjoying YA books though like sorry I don’t want to read about Susans office romance" — @RacheyRagdoll

Screenshot of a Tweet by @JennieLy. It begins with "Them" asking "are you buying MORE books?!" then "Me" uses multiple "yes"es to spell out NO. — @JennieLy

Screenshot of a Tweet by @PallaviGunalan: "rediscovered the joy of reading for pleasure (bragging about it)" — @PallaviGunalan

Screenshot of a Tweet by @ruthmadievsky: "nilf (novel I’d like to finish)" — @ruthmadievsky

Screenshot of a Tweet by @TwitterBooks: "Please stop writing in books, there's already an author" — @TwitterBooks

Funny Book Tweets About Pride And Prejudice

Screenshot of a Tweet by @SketchesbyBoze: "boys always assume that sending nudes is what grabs a gal's attention, when what really grabs their attention is the patronage of the esteemed lady Catherine deBourgh." — @SketchesbyBoze

Screenshot of a Tweet from @SparkNotes. It's a Spotify playlist called "songs for proposing to the woman you love despite her embarrassing family" and the song titles read You Must / Allow Me / To Tell You / How / Ardently / I Admire / And Love You. — @SparkNotes

Screenshot of a Tweet by @bookishseawitch: "“fewer young people are getting married” have you seen the state of things? there’s not a single man in possession of a good fortune in sight" — @bookishseawitch

Screenshot of a Tweet by @_meggybread: "For me the most relatable character in Pride and Prejudice is Charlotte's little brother who declares that, were he as rich as Mr Darcy, he would buy many dogs and turn to alcoholism" — @_meggybread

Screenshot of a Tweet by @SparkNotes: "Jane after riding by horseback through the rain: Unfortunately, I have fallen ill.

Mrs. Bennet:" followed by a picture of somebody writing the word NICE on a whiteboard — @SparkNotes

Screenshot of a Tweet by @FuckboisOfLit: "roses are red
be of good cheer
the guy down the road
makes ten grand a year" — @FuckboisOfLit

Screenshot of a Tweet by @sherrysworld: "jane austen is timeless because the line “i’m 27 years old, i’ve no money and no prospects. i’m already a burden to my parents and i’m frightened” is as relevant today as when she published pride and prejudice in 1813" — @sherrysworld

Screenshot of a Tweet by @SparkNotes. It's a edited screencap of Google search results that reads "People also ask: What is Mr Darcy's problem?" — @SparkNotes

Screenshot of a Tweet by @bookishseawitch: "the older I get, the more compassion I have for Mrs. Bennet and her poor nerves" — @bookishseawitch

Screenshot of a Tweet by @SketchesbyBoze: "for me the most relatable character in Pride & Prejudice is Lady Catherine, who has never studied or played music but is confident that if she had, she would have been great at it." — @SketchesbyBoze

Read my review of Pride And Prejudice here.

Funny Book Tweets About Moby Dick

Screenshot of a Tweet from @fowlerism: "ME: I will now give my Moby Dick presentation as a rap
TEACHER: I specifically told you not to d-
ME: His palms are sweaty, Queequeg's harpoon heavy, there's something on his sweater already, spermaceti" — @fowlerism

Screenshot of a Tweet by @Chinchillazllla: "if a whale ate my leg i would just say "i guess whaling's not for me!" instead of having a blood feud with a wild animal" — @Chinchillazllla

Screenshot of a Tweet by @ChrisSmartBoy replying to @Chinchillazllla: "Men will literally have a blood feud with a colossal white whale instead of going to therapy" — @ChrisSmartBoy

Screenshot of a Tweet by @yellow_dusk: "plebs: plot?

Herman Melville: whale facts

plebs: coherent development of the narrative?

Herman Melville: Whale. Facts.

plebs: it's been like 200 pages and we haven't even met Ahab, want to tell us about him?

Herman Melville: W H A L E F A C T S" — @yellow_dusk

Screenshot of a Tweet by @DanWilbur: "Chapters 1-14 of Moby Dick: is a man’s innate wish to be near water when he grows weary of the world that which the Christian God approves or is it that same biblical blasphemy in which Jonah partook?

Chapter 15: the clam chowder at this hotel is pretty good! 5 stars!" — @DanWilbur

Read my review of Moby Dick here.

Funny Book Tweets About The Brontës

Screenshot of a Tweet by @zoyaranii: "Emily Bronte truly put her entire Brontussy into Wuthering Heights with 'you say I killed you, haunt me then'" — @zoyaranii

Screenshot of a Tweet by @Snarls_Dickens: "No no you misheard me - I said Jane Eyre is a PROBLEM-ATTIC novel" — @Snarls_Dickens

Screenshot of a Tweet by @FuckboisOfLit: "roses are red
blooms are static
don’t trust a man
with a laughing attic" — @FuckboisOfLit

Screenshot of a Tweet by @bookishseawitch: "live, laugh, lock your first wife in the attic" — @bookishseawitch

Screenshot of a Tweet by @epicciuto: "I [35M] married a woman [32F] from a slave-owning family for money. She had mental illness and cheated on me, so I removed her from home and loved ones and chained her in an attic. Now I want to marry an employee [18F] without telling her I’m married because she’ll say no. AITA?" — @epicciuto

Screenshot of a Tweet by @SketchesbyBoze: "Lord grant me the unearned confidence of Branwell Bronte, who accidentally set his bed on fire and thought he was a better writer than his sisters Charlotte and Emily." — @SketchesbyBoze

Read more about the Brontës here.

Funny Book Tweets About Frankenstein

Screenshot of a Tweet by @_elvishpresley_: "wife: I wish you'd stop bringing your work home with you
Dr Frankenstein: he has a name
wife: DOES HE" — @_elvishpresley_

Screenshot of a Tweet by @TheHyyyype: "dr frankenstein: it’s alive!

igor: great! what should we name him

dr frankenstein: uh we won’t

igor: idk might lead to some confusion

dr frankenstein: it will literally never come up" — @TheHyyyype

Screenshot of a Tweet by @punished_picnic: "my 2 month old: i cant sleep daddy i’m afraid of frankenstein

me: haha dont you mean frankenstein’s monster

my 3 month old: i do not. personally i find unethical and irresponsible scientific practice far more terrifying than any physical being and so should you" — @punished_picnic

Screenshot of a Tweet from @SparkNotes: "Interviewer: Under "work history" it just says "content creator." Care to elaborate on that?

Victor Frankenstein: No." — @SparkNotes

Screenshot of a Tweet by @MNateShyamalan: "villager: ah! it’s frankenstein!

dr. frankenstein: actually, i’m frankenstein. you can call him frankenstein’s-

frankenstein’s monster: *glaring*

dr. frankenstein: frankenstein’s friend" — @MNateShyamalan

Screenshot of a Tweet by @OhNoSheTwitnt: "“Actually, Frankincense was the name of the doctor who created it. You're thinking of Frankincense's monster.” - The 3 Wise Mansplainers" — @OhNoSheTwitnt

Read my review of Frankenstein here.

Funny Tweets About Kids Books

Screenshot of a Tweet by @TheTimmyToes: "If I were a literary character, I would be the grandpa in Charlie & The Chocolate Factory that doesn't get to go" — @TheTimmyToes

Screenshot of a Tweet by @TomRichardson: "Another lacklustre effort from Enid Blyton", below a screenshot of a headline that reads "Five get salmonella after eating pies" — @TomRichardson

Screenshot of a Tweet from @blackcindy: "Matilda was dead ass walking around with adoption papers fjjcjffc my good sis was ready to kick it"

Screenshot of a Tweet by @TheAndrewNadeau: "[After leaving Willy Wonka’s factory]
ME:
WIFE:
ME:
WIFE:
ME:
WIFE: Lot of deaths for a to—
ME: A LOT of deaths for a tour!" — @TheAndrewNadeau

Screenshot of a Tweet by @SparkNotes: "straight line:
______

dashed line:
_ _ _ _

iconic line:
"There was a boy called Eustace Clarence Scrubb, and he almost deserved it."" — @SparkNotes

Screenshot of a Tweet by @KeatonPatti: "I'm loving seeing all of these pictures of text messages where workers are standing up against their bosses." accompanied by a doctored joke text message exchange between Willy Wonka and one of the Oompa Loompas — @KeatonPatti

Screenshot of a Tweet by @MilesKlee: "Augustus Gloop did nothing wrong. if you don’t want children drinking out of your chocolate river, build a normal fucking factory" — @MilesKlee

Funny Book Tweets About Kafka

Screenshot of a Tweet by @FireBeets: "date: who's your favourite beatle
me, panicking: uhh, um- gregor samsa" — @FireBeets

Screenshot of a Tweet by @shaeloe: "Girls love to ask “would you still love me if I was a worm” because they understand Kafka" — @shaeloe

Screenshot of a Tweet by @ellewasamistake: "editor: this better not be like last time
kafka: it's a coming of age story
editor: ok
kafka: about a boy who's changed, but his family won't accept him
editor: i'm listening
kafka: because he's changed into a bug
editor: there we go
kafka: like a real big fucken bug" — @ellewasamistake

Screenshot of a Tweet by @drankturpentine: "new year new me,” i say after waking up as a giant cockroach" — @drankturpentine

Screenshot of a Tweet by @zach_vasquez: "Reading this book The Trial. So stupid. They don’t even tell the guy what he’s on trial for. That’s not how the legal system works dumb ass." — @zach_vasquez

Screenshot of a Tweet from @Andr6wMale: "As Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from uneasy dreams he found his iPhone had updated overnight and he no longer knew how to attach photos to texts." — @Andr6wMale

Funny Book Tweets About To Kill A Mockingbird

Screenshot of a Tweet by @jaboukie: "scout: hi
boo radley:" above a tweet by @rickeythompson that says: "I stay home and mind my business" — @jaboukie

Screenshot of a Tweet from @ Sparknotes: "DRESSING UP AS A GHOST FOR HALLOWEEN = meh
DRESSING UP AS A HAM FOR HALLOWEEN = unique, easy to put together, will surely win first prize in the Maycomb County Halloween pageant" — @SparkNotes

Screenshot of a Tweet by @veryharryhilll: "Scout Finch walking by her neighbor's house:" attached to a Tweet by @whoisaddison that says "good morning boo" — @veryharryhill

Read my review of To Kill A Mockingbird here.

Funny Book Tweets About The Picture Of Dorian Gray

Screenshot of a Tweet by @aedison: "DEVIL: You shall stay forever young, but this picture of you will bear the marks of your sin!
DORIAN: Can I hide it?
DEVIL: Well, yes, but-
DORIAN: And there are no other consequences?
DEVIL: This... This picture will become so foul!
DORIAN: Again, probably I'll hide the picture." — @aedison

Screenshot of a Tweet by @StevenRayMorris: "The Picture off Dorian Gray was the original NFT." — @StevenRayMorris

Screenshot of a Tweet by @TheAndrewNadeau: "dorian gray: I have a painting where I look worse as I grow

me: I feel like you’re talking about mirrors?

dorian: no cuz I think I look good until I see it

me: you’re absolutely describing a mirror" — @TheAndrewNadeau

Screenshot of a Tweet by @govindajeggy: "I have a joke about Dorian Gray. Never gets old" — @govindajeggy

Read my review of The Picture Of Dorian Gray here.

More Funny Book Tweets

Screenshot of a Tweet by @LEJ88: "I went into a bookshop earlier carrying a book. I seem to have put my book down to browse other books and left with no books. Have called the bookshop but they're struggling to find my lost book amongst all the books. This is the stupidest thing I have ever done" — @LEJ88

Screenshot of a Tweet by @joboyley: "My daughter has started a story and 'Rebecca' no longer has the greatest opening lines in literature." with a picture of a handwritten note that says: "As the day becomes night, the ghosts start to stir. Some littrely start to stir, because they are chef ghosts."

Screenshot of tweet from @jessmcguire
"CLIENT: do you guys like fruit? You're welcome to take an orange, they're the only fruit we've managed to grow.
ME, POIGNANTLY: but oranges are not the only fruit <nods at coworkers>
COWORKERS: <blank stares>
ME: I work with too many straight men" — @jessmcguire

Screenshot of a Tweet by @SparkNotes: "The narrator: Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary,
Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore—

The raven:" followed by an image of a man looking at another, which is captioned "HEY, NO ONE CARES." — @SparkNotes

Screenshot of a Tweet by @sageboggs: "everyone: don't judge a book by its cover
people who make book covers for a living: wait what" — @sageboggs

Screenshot of a Tweet by @Natt: "13-YR OLD DAUGHTER: "I have to make a cake for school tomorrow based on a book I've read."
US: ".....Oh. How long have you known this?"
D: "A while. Can I get the stuff?"
US: "Do you need any help?"
D: "No, I can do it..."
***TWO HOURS LATER***" accompanied by a picture of a very disturbing layer cake with a model of a pig's head on a stick and icing that reads "kill the pig cut her throat" — @Natt

Screenshot of a Tweet by @DothTheDoth: "Imagine needing 3 ghosts to tell you that you're a piece of shit. I do that fine on my own" — @DothTheDoth

Screenshot of a Tweet from @constantlyshan: "You think this quarantine is a joke, but if the March sisters had just Venmoed the Hummels instead of visiting their infected home, Beth would be alive today." — @constantlyshan

Screenshot of a Tweet by @Nancy_Pearl: "This made me smile on a rainy Seattle evening -" and an image of a person waiting in an airport lounge with a big sign that reads "Godot" — @Nancy_Pearl

Screenshot of a Tweet by @MarcSnetiker: "lol who called it The Crucible and not Subpoena the Teenage Witch" — @MarcSnetiker

Screenshot of a Tweet by @SparkNotes: "Not all relationships will lead to marriage. Some will end with you dead in the pool because of the futility of the American Dream." — @SparkNotes

Screenshot of a Tweet by @ellle_em: "Hello I am the protagonist of a psychological thriller. My name is Girl McWife. I have never asked the man I married a single question in all the years I have known him." — @ellle_em

Screenshot of tweet from @chrisomerville
"thinking a lot about this Instagram post by a book reviewer", accompanied by side-by-side photos of a book held up with two hands, and a drawing of someone awkwardly holding their phone with their feet to take a photo — @chrisomerville

Screenshot of a Tweet by @femaleredhead: "reading for pleasure implies the existence of reading for pain" — @femaleredhead

Screenshot of a Tweet by @merrittk: "You are dead in a mysterious boating accident on the lake. He is taking me to Manderley. We are not the same" — @merrittk

Screenshot of a Tweet by @LTMusical: "your fave YA novel:", followed by a quote tweet from @BenedictTown: "16 year old: what if we improved the planet somewhat

Grown adults: I must attack this child" — @LTMusicall

Screenshot of a Tweet by @SparkNotes: "Your vibes were off at Bilbo Baggins' 111st birthday party" — @SparkNotes

Screenshot of a Tweet by @AGeekwithaHat: "The real question" and an image of a price sticker on a book with an abbreviated author/title that reads: "DO ANDROIDS DREAM OF DICK" — @AGeekwithaHat

Screenshot of a Tweet by @chrisomerville: "girls in crime novels love to write 'can't believe I'm going to finally meet Mr Enigma tonight' as the final entry in their diary before they disappear in a forest" — @chrisomerville

Screenshot of a Tweet by @osutein: "There are two wolves inside you. One is Virginia Woolf. The other is Beowulf. You are an Introduction to English Literature syllabus." — @osutein

Screenshot of a Tweet by @hangsawoman: "you have to be fucking kidding me" with a screenshot of a Google search result for "bilbos dad" which reveals his name was Bungo Baggins — @hangsawoman

Screenshot of a Tweet by @daemonic3: "Starting a cover band called "A Book" so no one can judge us." — @daemonic3

Screenshot of a Tweet from @ChauncySmartt: "The past tense of William Shakespeare would be Wouldiwas Shookspeared." — @ChauncySmartt

Screenshot of a Tweet by @jarry: "I'm bringing paperback
them other books don't know how to act
*deletes account*" — @jarry

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Features & Discussion

2 Comments

Paula Vince
May 30, 2022 at 11:29 AM

Thanks for the early morning laughs! That was such a refreshing read. Collating the collective wit of book nerds from social media can’t have been an easy task but you did it, and I love it. So many of them seem to make a scary sort of common sense too.

Reply
- Sheree (Post author)
  June 7, 2022 at 10:19 AM
  
  Ahahahaha cheers, Paula!
  
  Reply

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