Cleo Dang Would Rather Be Dead – Mai Nguyen

Cleo Dang Would Rather Be Dead needs a big, fat content warning right up front. It’s not just a book about child loss; I’ve never read a book that interrogates that particular grief so deeply. So, don’t be fooled by the bright pink cover and kind-of jokey title. Read the blurb closely, and take care of yourself if this is a subject that is a sore spot for you.

Naturally, for a book so closely observed and keenly felt, it’s a story that’s rooted in reality. Author Mai Nguyen sadly lost her own baby, Gemma, in 2022. She says in her author’s note that she wrote that experience into Cleo Dang Would Rather Be Dead, giving her character all of the grief and challenges she faced herself and also all of the strength and support she needed to stumble through it.

I’ll admit, when I picked this Libro.fm advance listening copy, I thought Cleo Dang Would Rather Be Dead would focus more on the protagonist’s kooky post-partum career choice – working in the funeral home where her daughter’s service was held. While that’s an important part of the plot, it’s not the focus. This book is mostly about the overwhelming physical and emotional weight of grief, and the accompanying passive suicidality (Cleo Dang doesn’t want to hurt herself, but she doesn’t want to stay alive either).

Cleo Dang Would Rather Be Dead is a wonderful, but difficult, read, one that helps dismantle the myths about grief and reflects instead the horrific reality of child loss.

Read Cleo Dang Would Rather Be Dead on audiobook via Libro.fm here. (affiliate link)