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Search results: "brontë" (page 1 of 5)

Sibling Rivalry: Who Was The Best Brontë?

Now and then you get a random cluster of super-successful people, all from the same family. There’s multiple household names on these particular family trees, recognisable the world over. In the ’80s, it was all about the Jacksons. The ’90s and ’00s had the Baldwins and the Wayans and the Arquettes. Today, you’ve probably got a favourite Hemsworth or Gyllenhaal or Franco. But back in the 19th century, they had the Brontës.

Who Was The Best Bronte? Text Box Overlaid on Green Pattern and Book Covers - Keeping Up With The Penguins

Who Were The Brontës?

There’s not a whole lot of sex/drugs/rock’n’roll in the Brontë story, but bear with me. In 1812, a clergyman from a barely-literate Irish family (that’d be Patrick Brontë) met and married the love of his life, Maria. They rapidly produced six offspring: Maria (born 1814), Elizabeth (1815), Charlotte (1816), Branwell (1817), Emily (1818) and Anne (1820). (OK, maybe there was a bit of sex… unprotected sex, apparently.)

To accommodate the expanding brood, Patrick moved his family to the village of Haworth, West Yorkshire. Even though the town’s population had grown exponentially, there was no sewerage or sanitary systems. The water supply was constantly contaminated by the rotting corpses in the cemetery up the hill (D-minus for the town planner). Food was scarce, and everyone survived (barely) on a steady diet of porridge and potatoes. Life expectancy for residents was around 25 years, and infant mortality was nearly half, so getting all of the Brontës up past knee height was a pretty significant accomplishment.

Unfortunately, even though the kids held up alright, their mother didn’t fare so well, and she died the following year. Her sister moved in with Patrick shortly after to help with running the house, but he needed a bit of peace and quiet (or a better education for the rugrats, or both). He found the kids places at a reputable charitable school not far away. Of course, even “reputable” charitable schools in those days had pupils so malnourished that they lost their eyesight, and rats would gnaw on their extremities at night, so it’s all relative.

Sure enough, the Brontës started dropping like flies. By 1825, both Maria and Elizabeth (the two eldest) were dead from illnesses contracted at school. Patrick got fed up with his kids dying, so he brought the remaining ones back home pronto.


Having suffered stoically through all this death and porridge, now finding themselves quite alone in the middle of nowhere, the remaining Brontë sprogs – Charlotte, Emily, Branwell, and Anne – took to making up stories for their own entertainment. They created the fictional worlds of Angria and Gondal, writing stories and poems and feeding off one another’s creativity. In fact, they wrote more as children than any of them managed as adults. Just goes to show what lengths kids would go to keep from getting bored when they don’t have iPads.

In 1846, Charlotte, Emily and Anne had a collection of poems published under their pen names (Currer, Ellis, and Acton Bell). Branwell was making a pest of himself (more on that in a second), and contributed very little to their literary efforts from that point onward. Their isolation meant that the Brontës created their own kind of literary tradition – relatively untouched by the influence of others that came before, and one that could not be replicated by others that came after. Their creative output was, of course, cut short by their untimely deaths (Emily and Branwell bit the dust in 1848, Anne kicked the year after that, and Charlotte made it all the way to 1854). Still, their reputations continued to grow after their deaths. They are now considered to be one of the most influential literary families of all time, and their home in Haworth is a pilgrimage site (the Brontë Parsonage Museum) for booklovers from around the world. None of the Brontës bore any children, so any genetic genius died out with paper Patrick; sadly, he outlived all of his children, dying in 1861.

Parents are probably supposed to say that they don’t have a favourite kid, and Patrick undoubtedly loved them all, but we are under no such obligation! Debate has raged for over a century now: who was the best Brontë? Let’s take a look at the contenders…

Emily Brontë 

Emily gets pretty much all of the love nowadays. She only wrote one novel – Wuthering Heights – which I once described as a bad-boy’s decade-long over getting friendzoned. It’s a pretty spooky read, full of hauntings and moors and incestuous marriages and stuff. I suppose it’s also a pretty good “eternal love” story, if you’re into that kind of thing. Critics have been analysing Wuthering Heights for decades (I gave it a shot, too), and I’d bet they’re not even halfway done – there’s enough layers of metaphor to keep them at it for a while yet. It’s definitely the most iconic Brontë novel (but could we really say that it’s the “best”? hmmm…)

As for the woman herself, Emily was a bit of a character. She had a bit of trouble holding down a job – mostly because all of the jobs for unmarried women her age at the time involved looking after kids, and she didn’t like that. In fact, she once told the pupils at the school where she taught that she preferred the school dog over all of them (same, girl, same). That teaching gig was the only one she ever had. She shrugged off the pressure to become a governess like her sisters, and focused intensely on her writing. She was the determined, hard-working, creative, childless-by-choice one. The media would probably call her a “nasty woman” if she were around today.

Charlotte Brontë 

I must say I’m very biased here, because Charlotte’s magnum opus – Jane Eyre – is one of my favourite books of all time. Charlotte was the “first historian of the private consciousness”, writing a story where all of the action is told through the eyes and experiences of the central character. She pretty much invented first-person narration as we understand it today. Jane Eyre tells the story of a young governess who survives a shitty childhood (complete with evil stepmother, and a boarding school that violates every health code ever), only to fall in love with her boss (who happens to be keeping his mad wife locked in his attic). It was a deeply feminist book, very progressive for its time, and so much more accessible and readable than Wuthering Heights! A highly recommended read from Keeping Up With The Penguins – be sure to check out my full review here.

Anyway, Charlotte was the pretty, popular one. Case in point: she received a pretty steady stream of marriage proposals throughout her life. One bloke, Reverend Henry Nussey, wrote her a letter asking for her hand – she turned him down because she just wasn’t that into him, and she thought (probably rightly) that being married to a clergyman would be boring as fuck. Another reverend – David Pryce – met her once (once!) at a tea party before he popped the question. She turned him down as well, figuring (once again, probably rightly) that he was bonkers. She did finally marry a curate (Arthur Bell Nicholls) – but even he had to propose twice before she finally conceded. No man was gonna hold Charlotte down!

Turns out, getting married was probably a bad call on her part anyway: Charlotte died less than a year after the ceremony, and it would seem that it was extreme morning sickness that done her in. Her death certificate listed “phthisis” (acute tuberculosis) as the cause of death, but today’s medicine points to an evil foetus as the more likely cause. Still, Charlotte did manage to out-live all of her siblings, and she was certainly more prolific than any of them. That’s a pretty strong case for her being the Best Brontë Of All Time, don’t you think?

Anne Brontë 

When you start Googling people’s opinions on who was the best Brontë, you’re going to come across a squillion articles talking up Anne – the “forgotten” Brontë sister. People seem to really sympathise with poor little Anne, younger sister to two of the greatest female writers of all time. They do have a point: Emily and Charlotte would have been tough acts to follow.

Still, I’m not sure Anne is as “forgotten” as everyone says. Her book The Tenant of Wildfell Hall is certainly having a resurgence at the moment. It’s the story of a woman living in (you guessed it) Wildfell Hall; she really wants some alone-time, but drunk fuckboys keep coming at her from all directions. Anne basically used this book to sub-tweet all of her siblings. She sent up Charlotte and Emily, who wrote angry hard-drinking men as irresistibly attractive love interests, and her brother Branwell, who was himself an angry hard-drinking man in life. All of her writing had pretty strong moral messages, and her female characters were Strong Independent WomenTM, which was pretty controversial for the time.

Charlotte certainly wasn’t a fan of her younger sister’s work. She actually prevented The Tenant of Wildfell; Hall being republished after Anne’s death, saying “Wildfell Hall it hardly appears to me desirable to preserve. The choice of subject in that work is a mistake, it was too little consonant with the character, tastes and ideas of the gentle, retiring inexperienced writer.” She sounds mad jelly, doesn’t she?

Anne has historically been a dark horse for the title of the best Brontë, but judging by how much love she’s got on the internet over recent years, she’s probably the frontrunner now.

Branwell Brontë 

If you want to talk about the real forgotten Brontë, spare a thought for poor drunk Branwell. Popular opinion would have it that Anne is the one who got shafted, but I’m sure you have never read anything by Branwell – in fact, you probably didn’t even know there was a Brontë brother until now. Right?

In his younger years, Branwell’s father and sister thought he was an absolute genius – he was the darling of the family, intelligent and talented and driven. But, like so many white male boy-wonders before and since, his life quickly descended into a spiral of debt and addiction. Anne took pity on him and got him a job, but mad-dog Branwell got himself fired for having an affair with his boss’s wife (!). He frittered away the money he borrowed from his father (and, reportedly, stole from his employer), drinking and partying in establishments of ill-repute. He’d have been a fun guy to have along on a night out, but you probably wouldn’t have trusted him with your wallet.

As far as his writing goes, he and Charlotte actually co-wrote a book called Juvenilia when they were children. He followed that up with assorted pieces of poetry and prose. Things looked promising for Branwell when he got a few articles published in local newspapers… but he was ultimately waylaid by his love for opium. Branwell’s work is difficult to find today, and he’s barely a blip on the literary critique radar. He lives eternally in the shadow of his sisters, and you’d be hard pressed to find someone who’d unironically call him the best Brontë.

So, who was the best Brontë?

Well, obviously, my vote is with Charlotte (and I give an honourable mention to Branwell, for being such a hot mess). But the true winner is up to you! Cast your vote by commenting below (or telling us your favourite over at KUWTP on Facebook), and subscribe to Keeping Up With The Penguins to be the first to know when we decide the winner 😉

Jane Eyre – Charlotte Brontë


There was no possibility of picking up another treatise on how tough it is to be a white man that day… (without driving myself completely bonkers). That’s how I came to read Jane Eyre.

Charlotte Brontë’s masterpiece was originally published in 1847 under the title Jane Eyre: An Autobiography and “edited” under the pen name Currer Bell. All of the Brontë sisters took on gender-ambiguous nom de plumes, assuming (quite rightly, it turned out) that literature written by women wouldn’t get a fair shake. Charlotte was once told by Robert Southey that “literature cannot be the business of a woman’s life: and it ought not to be”. Firstly, fuck that guy. Secondly, I’m glad Charlotte didn’t listen to him, because her shit is brilliant.

Charlotte was, as you’ve probably guessed, the older sister to Emily Brontë (I reviewed Wuthering Heights a little while back). Emily gets all of the love and accolades, but it was Charlotte that truly revolutionised the art of first-person fiction (i.e., she was the first to really write about what was going on in people’s heads). She has been called “the first historian of private consciousness”, and her influence can be seen in the work of dudes like Proust and Joyce. She internalised the action the way that no one before her could, and was one of the first to explore classism, sexuality, religion, and feminism in the way we do today. So, when it comes to the Brontë sibling rivalry, I’m going in to bat for Charlotte.

By the way, if I sound at all like I know what I’m talking about, it’s because the introduction to this edition is off the chain. It’s insightful, helpful, and intelligent – without going over your head. Plus, I just fucking loved Jane Eyre. I absorbed the book like a brand-new sponge baptised in bathwater.


Right from the outset, Jane Eyre is pretty gripping. Jane – the main character, duh – is ten years old, her parents are dead, and she has been sent to live with her nice, rich uncle… but he dies too, so she’s raised by her evil stepmother, alongside her three bratty cousins. Life’s pretty terrible for Jane, but it is beautifully written. I tend to feel pretty disconnected from literature of this period (as most would-be bookworms do); I don’t understand the language, the imagery, the style, and the metaphor. All of it seems anchored in a context that I don’t know enough about to fully comprehend… but not so with Jane! I was immediately immersed in her world. She feels everything so keenly, and passion drips from every word – I mean, she’s a very intense girl, but Charlotte Brontë is artful enough to keep it from sliding into melodramatics. It’s everything that My Brilliant Career should have been.

Jane winds up in a boarding school, and the drama doesn’t stop: she’s pretty mercilessly bullied for a while, the girls are all kinds of weird, and her first best friend Helen Burns dies of tuberculosis. This is where we first see Brontë really draw from her own life (I should do a shot every time an author in this project “writes what they know”). Helen’s death eerily mirrors the deaths of Brontë’s own younger sisters: Elizabeth and Maria Brontë both died of tuberculosis in childhood, as a result of the conditions at their school. So this whole section of the plot is basically Charlotte saying a big ol’ “fuck you” to so-called charitable institutions.

When Jane is done with school, she is transferred to the Thornfield mansion, and introduced to her new master Mr Rochester. Now, here’s what you’ve got to understand: I didn’t really like Rochester much, mostly because he constantly talks over and down to Jane, and he’s basically just a pompous, self-absorbed fuckboy of the highest order… but I found the initial flirtations between he and Jane very romantic. I really wanted to be a keener, more critical feminist, but this shit had me all aflutter. I’m pretty confident that every strong, independent woman who has had the misfortune of falling in love with a man can relate.

The saving grace is that Jane Eyre is a blatant proto-feminist call to arms. Brontë doesn’t even try to hide it in layers of metaphor, like so many other writers of the time. She literally tells us, through Jane, that she thinks women are equal to men and it is absolute bullshit that they aren’t treated as such. She was so woke for her time that it confused the hell out of critics. One Ms Elizabeth Rigby wrote, in her “scathing” review, that “no woman trusses game and garnishes dessert dishes with the same hands, or talks of doing so in the same breath” and as such Jane Eyre must have been written by a man… or, at least, by a woman “so depraved as to have long forfeited the society of her own sex”. Fuck yes, Charlotte Brontë, fuck yes! Troll reviews like that are how you know you’re on the right track.

It’s true that – panty-dropping for Rochester aside – Jane is a bad bitch. She fawns over him privately, sure, but in his company she makes every show of having no time for his bullshit. On the eve of their engagement, she says:

“Here I heard myself apostrophized as a ‘hard little thing’; and it was added ‘any other woman would have been melted to marrow hearing such stanzas crooned in her praise.’

I assured him that I was naturally hard – very flinty, and that he would often find me so; and that, moreover, I was determined to show him divers[e] rugged points in my character before the ensuing four weeks [engagement] elapsed: he should know fully what sort of bargain he had made, while there was yet time to rescind it.”

… and she proceeds to torture him mercilessly every damn day. Jane Eyre was the Beyonce’s Lemonade of its time.

If you’re tempted to roll your eyes right now, stop and think about it: this was a really scathing commentary on class and gender roles back in the day. Of course it wasn’t perfect – Jane doesn’t exactly call Rochester out on his treatment of his “savage Creole” wife that he hid in the attic, and there’s a few moments of superiority and white-saviourism – but it’s hardly fair to put a 21st century head on Charlotte Brontë’s shoulders. As it stands, in her own context, she was a true radical.

And lest this talk of radical feminism scare you off, you should know that Jane Eyre is still fucking hilarious. You wouldn’t call it a “comedy” per se, but I literally laughed out loud countless times. Jane is so witty and dry and clever – maybe a touch too earnest and self-deprecating at times, but it’s endearing. Shit like this had me in hysterics:

“‘No sight so sad as that of a naughty child,’ he began, ‘especially a naughty little girl. Do you know where the wicked go after death?’

‘They go to hell,’ was my ready and orthodox answer.

‘And what is hell? Can you tell me that?’

‘A pit full of fire.’

‘And should you like to fall into that pit, and to be burning there for ever?’

‘No, sir.’

‘What must you do to avoid it?’

I deliberated a moment: my answer, when it did come, was objectionable: ‘I must keep in good health, and not die.'”

Jane Eyre is an amazing exposition of the patriarchal and class constraints experienced by a clever, funny woman over the course of a decade in the 19th century. The hot romance will make you feel like a bad feminist, but just go with it. Jane Eyre is absolutely teeming with redeeming qualities, and highly recommended by Keeping Up With The Penguins (and, as we all know, there is no higher praise than that!).

Note: I loved Jane Eyre SO MUCH that it made the cut for my official shortlist of Classic Books Worth Reading here.

My favourite Amazon reviews of Jane Eyre:

  • “This version is “illustrated” with reproductions of paintings that have nothing whatsoever to do with the text. For example, in the middle of a description of Sundays at the Lowood school, when the girls had to walk two miles to church services in the snow, there is a picture of a Native American spearing a buffalo.” – J. W. Shields
  • “I could have read Dostoyevsky, Proust, Tolstoy, or O’Connor. I could have read Don Quixote a second time or sailed again with Captain Ahab on his philosophical quest. Instead, I wasted a few weeks reading this glorified soap opera with what is perhaps one of the most unintentional comic endings in all of literature. Onward, Sancho, onward!” – Nemo
  • “Gee, this is a classic. But I was shocked by the unremitting sadism in it and soon stopped reading it.” – U. S. ‘nAye
  • “The floral print came off and not noticing this, it transferred to my leg while wearing shorts. Other than that the book is great…” – Nancy Host
  • “I read this against my will.” – Erik

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Wuthering Heights – Emily Brontë

OK folks, let’s be real here: before you read this review, you should know that I’m not going to shake the Earth with it. It turns out, Wuthering Heights has been reviewed and critiqued approximately eighty billion times already. My copy (purchased for $10, once owned by but never borrowed from the library of Riverside Girls’ High, according to the stamp in the front) has a Preface, Chronology, Introduction, Further Reading List (pages!), a Note on the Text, a Genealogical Table, a Bibliographical Notice for the author, and an Editors Preface to the New [1850] Edition… not to mention that the text itself is followed by 13 pages of notes. How can I possibly add to an analysis that’s already longer than the book? I’ll give it a shot, but I’m not optimistic… 😉

(A hot tip for those of you yet to read Wuthering Heights: given how many characters Emily Brontë names for their parents, and how many of them marry their cousins, an edition with the aforementioned Genealogical Table in the front is really handy!)

So, it’s 1801, right. This moody guy, Heathcliff, lives with his daughter-in-law and her new husband (his own son having perished, at some point). The DIL is hot, but they’re all kind of rude and weird. Their kindly neighbour – who’s trying to narrate this mess – comes to have a sleepover, but they stick him in a really strange room and he has nutty dreams and sees a ghost. He bails quick smart. Then, presto, we kind of switch narrators, because that kindly neighbour – safe, back at his place – gets bored at dinner and makes his housemaid give him all the dirt on those whack-jobs up the road. So, it’s the narrator narrating the narration of his housemaid. Got it?

It turns out: that Heathcliff guy was once a ruffian street-kid, with a Cinderella-esque upbringing (once the dude who took him in died, the rest of the family started being really mean). Catherine (we’ll call her Cathy Senior for clarity – you’ll see why in a minute) was a saucy little minx, who flirtatiously tortured Heathcliff for years, but she ultimately decided to marry the snooty guy next door instead. It was a hella dramatic household – years of drunken rages and fights and marriage proposals and death. It’s great tea, but damn, I wanted to tell them all to just calm down for a minute.

Heathcliff went on a sulky walkabout after his true-love-slash-adopted-sister married the snooty guy. Cathy Senior is overjoyed when he eventually returns, which makes Mr Snooty super jealous. Then, Mr Snooty’s sister takes a fancy to Heathcliff, and Cathy Senior is so not jealous of them that she goes proper bonkers and locks herself in her room.

Heathcliff does actually take Mr Snooty’s sister for a wife (seemingly because they both just fancied a shag and this was the only way to get one back then), but being back living with the adopted family that hates him isn’t great for his mental health. Guys, this is just Volume I. Strap in!


I can see why Wuthering Heights has been picked apart so many times – there’s clearly layers of metaphor and hidden meaning, but (unlike Mrs Dalloway) that doesn’t mean that a surface reading isn’t perfectly enjoyable. Of course, you’ve got to keep track of all the love triangles dodecahedrons and set aside any qualms you have about incest…

In Volume II, Heathcliff decides he doesn’t give a damn who’s married whom, and sneaks in to see Cathy Senior while Mr Snooty is at church. They pash for a bit, but she’s still bonkers, and Mr Snooty ends up catching them at it. It turns out Cathy Senior was knocked up (though none of them have mentioned it up until now) – the shock of the whole situation sends her into pre-term labour, and she dies not long after the shorty drops.

This, in turn, makes Heathcliff even more mental (losing his true-love-slash-adopted-sister and all), so Mr Snooty’s sister leaves him… but it turns out she was knocked up as well (gasp!). She runs away to the country to have the kid and eat a lot of peaches… then the story jumps ahead 13 years, and she dies too. I’m serious! I’m not making this up, I swear.

Cathy Junior (yes, Brontë named both characters Cathy, it’s crazy) is a mad little scamp; she thinks her cousins are living far, far away… but it turns out they’re living up the road with Heathcliff, and when she finds out she gets proper pissed off. She becomes secret pen pals with Heathcliff’s son and they trade notes via the milkman for a few days, until they decide they’ve fallen in love. (It kind of seems like deciding you want to marry the guy you’ve been messaging on Tinder for a few days… only that guy is your cousin and living with your mother’s ex-lover and it’s all really fucked up!)

He's Your Cousin - Mean Girls - Keeping Up With The Penguins

Heathcliff isn’t at all bothered by the incest, and approves of the match. He’s so determined that Cathy Junior should marry his son that he takes her hostage, knocks her around a bit, and tells her that he won’t release her to see her dying dad until she’s got a ring on it. The whole thing is a study in Stockholm syndrome and domestic violence, and by all rights I should have been shocked and confronted… but I was so confused and bored by their dramatics that it passed by me with barely an eyebrow raised.

To skip ahead to the end (which I’m sure we’re all eager to do by this point): Heathcliff dies and the implication seems to be that he and Cathy Senior go on to have a rollicking good time in the afterlife, haunting the moors and so forth. Cathy Junior outlives her cousin-husband, and eventually falls in love with her other cousin (even though he’s really stupid). They… live happily ever after? I guess?


The thing is, while I was reading Wuthering Heights, I was having a pretty tough time personally – putting on pants in the morning was about all I could manage, let alone immersing myself in Brontë’s madness. I’ll definitely read this book again, not because the first time was so good, but because I could not possibly have got everything out of Wuthering Heights that it has to offer, when so much of my brain space was occupied with other things. Ergo, at this point, I can really only recommend it to someone who’s got the emotional and mental stability to enjoy it properly.

Tl;dr? Wuthering Heights is a bad boy’s decade-long butthurt over getting friendzoned. If that appeals to you, and you don’t have any emotional turmoil of your own going on, go for it.

My favourite Amazon reviews of Wuthering Heights:

  • “This book wasn’t particularly good and it wasn’t particularly bad. I don’t really like this style but I’m reading the classics so that I can say that I did.” – the1cuttiepoo
  • “Classic Victorian plot of everyone being too proud to be happy.” – Jamie K Devine
  • “A serious and depressing masterpiece where Heathcliff is an evil jerk and everyone dies….” – David Allen Patterson

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If all you knew about Wuthering Heights before you read this review was drawn from the Kate Bush song, don’t worry – you’re not alone! Check out more songs inspired by classic literature here.

Book Reviews By Category

American

The Adventures of Augie March – Saul Bellow
The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn – Mark Twain
The Age Of Innocence – Edith Wharton
All The King’s Men – Robert Penn Warren
As I Lay Dying – William Faulkner
The Catcher In The Rye – J.D. Salinger
Gentlemen Prefer Blondes – Anita Loos
The Grapes Of Wrath – John Steinbeck
The Great Gatsby – F. Scott Fitzgerald
Little Women – Louisa May Alcott
Moby Dick – Herman Melville
On The Road – Jack Kerouac
Portnoy’s Complaint – Philip Roth
The Scarlet Letter – Nathaniel Hawthorne
The Sun Also Rises – Ernest Hemingway
To Kill A Mockingbird – Harper Lee

Australian

The Dressmaker – Rosalie Ham
The Husband’s Secret – Liane Moriarty
My Brilliant Career – Miles Franklin
The Narrow Road To The Deep North – Richard Flanagan
The Rosie Project – Graeme Simsion
True History Of The Kelly Gang – Peter Carey

Books In Translation

The Alchemist – Paulo Coelho
My Brilliant Friend – Elena Ferrante
The One-Hundred-Year Old Man Who Climbed Out The Window And Disappeared – Jonas Jonasson
She Came To Stay – Simone de Beauvoir

Children’s

Alice’s Adventures In Wonderland – Lewis Carroll
The Wind In The Willows – Kenneth Grahame

Classic

The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes – Arthur Conan Doyle
Clarissa – Samuel Richardson
David Copperfield – Charles Dickens
Don Quixote – Miguel de Cervantes
Emma – Jane Austen
Gulliver’s Travels – Jonathan Swift
Jane Eyre – Charlotte Brontë
The Life And Opinions of Tristram Shandy, Gentleman – Laurence Sterne
The Picture of Dorian Gray – Oscar Wilde
The Pilgrim’s Progress – John Bunyan
Pride And Prejudice – Jane Austen
Robinson Crusoe – Daniel Defoe
Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde – Robert Louis Stevenson
Sybil – Benjamin Disraeli – Coming Soon!
Vanity Fair – William Makepeace Thackeray
Wuthering Heights – Emily Brontë

Fantasy

The Colour Of Magic – Terry Pratchett
A Game Of Thrones – George R.R. Martin

Horror

A Clockwork Orange – Anthony Burgess
Dracula – Bram Stoker
Frankenstein – Mary Shelley

Memoir & Autobiography

American Sniper – Chris Kyle
The Happiest Refugee – Anh Do
The White Mouse – Nancy Wake
Wild – Cheryl Strayed
Yes Please – Amy Poehler

Mystery & Thriller

The Big Sleep – Raymond Chandler
The Girl On The Train – Paula Hawkins
The Lake House – Kate Morton
The Maltese Falcon – Dashiell Hammett
The Thirty-Nine Steps – John Buchan

Non-Fiction

The Brain That Changes Itself – Norman Doidge
A Brief History Of Time – Stephen Hawking
A Short History of Nearly Everything – Bill Bryson

Poetry

The Divine Comedy – Dante

Russian

Crime And Punishment – Fyodor Dostoyevsky

Science Fiction

Brave New World – Aldous Huxley
The Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy – Douglas Adams
The Martian – Andy Weir

True Crime

In Cold Blood – Truman Capote

Young Adult

The Book Thief – Markus Zusak
Divergent – Veronica Roth
Fangirl – Rainbow Rowell
The Fault In Our Stars – John Green
Girl Online – Zoe Sugg – Coming Soon!
The Hunger Games – Suzanne Collins
If I Stay – Gayle Forman
The Maze Runner – James Dashner – Coming Soon!
Paper Towns – John Green
We Were Liars – E. Lockhart

Book Reviews By Title

A

The Adventures of Augie March – Saul Bellow
The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn – Mark Twain
The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes – Arthur Conan Doyle
The Age Of Innocence – Edith Wharton
The Alchemist – Paulo Coelho
Alice’s Adventures In Wonderland – Lewis Carroll
All The King’s Men – Robert Penn Warren
All The Light We Cannot See – Anthony Doerr
American Sniper – Chris Kyle
Amongst Women – John McGahern
An Artist Of The Floating World – Kazuo Ishiguro
As I Lay Dying – William Faulkner

B

The Bell Jar – Sylvia Plath
The Big Sleep – Raymond Chandler
The Book Thief – Markus Zusak
The Brain That Changes Itself – Norman Doidge
Brave New World – Aldous Huxley
A Brief History of Time – Stephen Hawking

C

The Call Of The Wild – Jack London
Catch-22 – Joseph Heller
The Catcher In The Rye – J.D. Salinger
Clarissa – Samuel Richardson
A Clockwork Orange – Anthony Burgess
Cold Comfort Farm – Stella Gibbons
The Colour Of Magic – Terry Pratchett
Crime And Punishment – Fyodor Dostoyevsky

D

David Copperfield – Charles Dickens
Divergent – Veronica Roth
The Divine Comedy – Dante
Don Quixote – Miguel de Cervantes
Dracula – Bram Stoker
The Dressmaker – Rosalie Ham

E

Emma – Jane Austen
The End Of The Affair – Graham Greene

F

Fahrenheit 451 – Ray Bradbury
Fangirl – Rainbow Rowell
The Fault In Our Stars – John Green
Frankenstein – Mary Shelley

G

A Game Of Thrones – George R.R. Martin
Gentlemen Prefer Blondes – Anita Loos
The Girl On The Train – Paula Hawkins
Girl Online – Zoe Sugg – Coming Soon!
The Golden Bowl – Henry James
The Golden Notebook – Doris Lessing
The Grapes Of Wrath – John Steinbeck
The Great Gatsby – F. Scott Fitzgerald
Gulliver’s Travels – Jonathan Swift

H

The Happiest Refugee – Anh Do
The Heat Of The Day – Elizabeth Bowen
The Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy – Douglas Adams
The Hunger Games – Suzanne Collins
The Husband’s Secret – Liane Moriarty

I

If I Stay – Gayle Forman
In Cold Blood – Truman Capote

J

Jane Eyre – Charlotte Brontë

K

Kim – Rudyard Kipling

L

Lady Chatterley’s Lover – D.H. Lawrence
The Lake House – Kate Morton
The Life And Opinions Of Tristram Shandy, Gentleman – Laurence Sterne
Life After Life – Kate Atkinson
Little Women – Louisa May Alcott
Lolly Willowes – Sylvia Townsend Warner
Lord Of The Flies – William Golding

M

The Maltese Falcon – Dashiell Hammett
The Martian – Andy Weir
The Maze Runner – James Dashner – Coming Soon!
Moby Dick – Herman Melville
Money – Martin Amis
Mrs Dalloway – Virginia Woolf
Murphy – Samuel Beckett
My Brilliant Career – Miles Franklin
My Brilliant Friend – Elena Ferrante

N

The Narrow Road To The Deep North – Richard Flanagan
Nineteen Nineteen – John dos Passos

O

On The Road – Jack Kerouac
The One-Hundred-Year Old Man Who Climbed Out The Window And Disappeared – Jonas Jonasson

P

Paper Towns – John Green
Party Going – Henry Green
A Passage To India – E.M. Forster
The Picture of Dorian Gray – Oscar Wilde
The Pilgrim’s Progress – John Bunyan
Portnoy’s Complaint – Philip Roth
Pride And Prejudice – Jane Austen
The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie – Muriel Spark

Q

R

Robinson Crusoe – Daniel Defoe
The Rosie Project – Graeme Simsion

S

The Scarlet Letter – Nathaniel Hawthorne
Scoop – Evelyn Waugh
She Came To Stay – Simone de Beauvoir
A Short History of Nearly Everything – Bill Bryson
A Single Man – Christopher Isherwood
Still Alice – Lisa Genova
Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde – Robert Louis Stevenson
The Sun Also Rises – Ernest Hemingway
Sybil – Benjamin Disraeli – Coming Soon!

T

The Thirty-Nine Steps – John Buchan
To Kill A Mockingbird – Harper Lee
Tropic Of Cancer – Henry Miller
True History Of The Kelly Gang – Peter Carey
Turn Of The Screw – Henry James

U

Ulysses – James Joyce – Coming Soon!

V

Vanity Fair – William Makepeace Thackeray

W

We Are All Completely Beside Ourselves – Karen Joy Fowler
We Were Liars – E. Lockhart
The White Mouse – Nancy Wake
Wild – Cheryl Strayed
The Wind In The Willows – Kenneth Grahame
Wuthering Heights – Emily Brontë

X

Y

Yes Please – Amy Poehler

Z

Book Reviews By Author

A

The Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy – Douglas Adams
Little Women – Louisa May Alcott
Money – Martin Amis
Life After Life – Kate Atkinson
Emma – Jane Austen
Pride And Prejudice – Jane Austen

B

She Came To Stay – Simone de Beauvoir
Murphy – Samuel Beckett
The Adventures of Augie March – Saul Bellow
The Heat Of The Day – Elizabeth Bowen
Fahrenheit 451 – Ray Bradbury
Jane Eyre – Charlotte Brontë
Wuthering Heights – Emily Brontë
A Short History of Nearly Everything – Bill Bryson
The Thirty-Nine Steps – John Buchan
The Pilgrim’s Progress – John Bunyan
A Clockwork Orange – Anthony Burgess

C

In Cold Blood – Truman Capote
True History Of The Kelly Gang – Peter Carey
Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland – Lewis Carroll
Don Quixote – Miguel de Cervantes
The Big Sleep – Raymond Chandler
The Alchemist – Paulo Coelho
The Hunger Games – Suzanne Collins

D

The Divine Comedy – Dante
The Maze Runner – James Dashner – Coming Soon!
Robinson Crusoe – Daniel Defoe
David Copperfield – Charles Dickens
Sybil – Benjamin Disraeli – Coming Soon!
The Happiest Refugee – Anh Do
All The Light We Cannot See – Anthony Doerr
The Brain That Changes Itself – Norman Doidge
Crime And Punishment – Fyodor Dostoyevsky
The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes – Arthur Conan Doyle

E

F

As I Lay Dying – William Faulkner
My Brilliant Friend – Elena Ferrante
The Great Gatsby – F. Scott Fitzgerald
The Narrow Road To The Deep North – Richard Flanagan
If I Stay – Gayle Forman
A Passage To India – E.M. Forster
We Are All Completely Beside Ourselves – Karen Joy Fowler
My Brilliant Career – Miles Franklin

G

Still Alice – Lisa Genova
Cold Comfort Farm – Stella Gibbons
Lord Of The Flies – William Golding
The Wind In The Willows – Kenneth Grahame
Party Going – Henry Green
Paper Towns – John Green
The Fault In Our Stars – John Green
The End Of The Affair – Graham Greene

H

The Dressmaker – Rosalie Ham
The Maltese Falcon – Dashiell Hammett
A Brief History Of Time – Stephen Hawking
The Girl On The Train – Paula Hawkins
The Scarlet Letter – Nathaniel Hawthorne
Catch-22 – Joseph Heller
The Sun Also Rises – Ernest Hemingway
Brave New World – Aldous Huxley

I

A Single Man – Christopher Isherwood
An Artist Of The Floating World – Kazuo Ishiguro

J

The Golden Bowl – Henry James
Turn Of The Screw – Henry James
The One-Hundred-Year Old Man Who Climbed Out The Window And Disappeared – Jonas Jonasson
Ulysses – James Joyce – Coming Soon!

K

On The Road – Jack Kerouac
Kim – Rudyard Kipling
American Sniper – Chris Kyle

L

Lady Chatterley’s Lover – D.H. Lawrence
To Kill A Mockingbird – Harper Lee
The Golden Notebook – Doris Lessing
We Were Liars – E. Lockhart
The Call Of The Wild – Jack London
Gentlemen Prefer Blondes – Anita Loos

M

A Game Of Thrones – George R.R. Martin
Amongst Women – John McGahern
Moby Dick – Herman Melville
Tropic Of Cancer – Henry Miller
The Husband’s Secret – Liane Moriarty
The Lake House – Kate Morton

N

O

P

Nineteen Nineteen – John dos Passos
The Bell Jar – Sylvia Plath
Yes Please – Amy Poehler
The Colour Of Magic – Terry Pratchett

Q

R

Clarissa – Samuel Richardson
Portnoy’s Complaint – Philip Roth
Divergent – Veronica Roth
Fangirl – Rainbow Rowell

S

The Catcher In The Rye – J.D. Salinger
Frankenstein – Mary Shelley
The Rosie Project – Graeme Simsion
The Prime Of Miss Jean Brodie – Muriel Spark
The Grapes Of Wrath – John Steinbeck
The Life And Opinions Of Tristram Shandy, Gentleman – Laurence Sterne
Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde – Robert Louis Stevenson
Dracula – Bram Stoker
Wild – Cheryl Strayed
Girl Online – Zoe Sugg – Coming Soon!
Gulliver’s Travels – Jonathan Swift

T

Vanity Fair – William Makepeace Thackeray
Lolly Willowes – Sylvia Townsend Warner
The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn – Mark Twain

U

V

W

The White Mouse – Nancy Wake
All The King’s Men – Robert Penn Warren
Scoop – Evelyn Waugh
The Martian – Andy Weir
The Age Of Innocence – Edith Wharton
The Picture Of Dorian Gray – Oscar Wilde
Mrs Dalloway – Virginia Woolf

X

Y

Z

The Book Thief – Markus Zusak

7 Best Fictional Couples

I’m not afraid to admit it: I love a good love story, especially around this time of year. The problem is I seem to read so few of them! I don’t generally go for “kissing books”, and when I do, I find most of the men in cis-het romances are covered head-to-toe in red flags. It’s hard to emotionally invest in a fictional couple when every fiber of my feminist being is screaming “RUN, GIRL! RUN!”. But I’ve put my thinking hat on, and come up with a list of the best fictional couples from literature (as determined by my cold, dead heart).

7 Best Fictional Couples - Keeping Up With The Penguins

Jo March and Friedrich Bhaer

Little Women - Louisa May Alcott - Book Laid on Wooden Table - Keeping Up With The Penguins

Little Women by Louisa May Alcott

Louisa May Alcott copped a lot of hate for this fictional couple, but I’m glad she stuck with them, because it is my all-time favourite pairing. Readers of Little Women at the time felt very strongly that Jo March should end up with Laurie, the heavy-drinking playboy who threw a huge tanty when she said she wouldn’t marry him (and proceeded to borderline-stalk her younger sister, no less). Life with Laurie would’ve been no fun for Jo at all! The man is a walking red flag! With Professor Bhaer, on the other hand, Jo can look forward to a long and interesting marriage full of books, politics, and stimulating conversation. I could not imagine a more perfect ending for our bookish heroine! Read my full review of Little Women here.

Elizabeth Bennet and Mr Darcy

Pride And Prejudice - Jane Austen - Book Laid on Wooden Table - Keeping Up With The Penguins

Pride And Prejudice by Jane Austen

It’s a cliche for a reason, Keeper Upperers! This fictional couple is so iconic that the characters have become archetypes, the story of Pride And Prejudice a template for all romance novels and love stories that followed. I think what I like most about this pairing is that it’s not about two jigsaw pieces fitting together perfectly and “completing” each other. Rather, two imperfect souls seek to better themselves, and help the other to do the same – a man changes his manners and a woman changes her mind, as the saying goes. The fact that Darcy is also hot and rich and saves the Bennet family from destitution is just gravy, really. Also, he offers Lizzie wine when she’s freaking out, and that’s the exact quality I look for in a man. Read my full review of Pride And Prejudice here.

Honourable Mention: Bridget Jones and Mark Darcy of Bridget Jones’s Diary. They’re based so closely on Lizzie and Darcy that I could hardly list them separately, but I still think they rate a mention.

Lupin and Tonks

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows - JK Rowling - Book Laid on Wooden Table - Keeping Up With The Penguins

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows by J.K. Rowling

This is a less-conventional choice from the Harry Potter universe, I know. Everyone’s here for Ron and Hermione, I know, but spare me! Ron was an emotionally stunted nit-wit for most of the series, and Hermione could’ve done so much better…! Lupin and Tonks, on the other hand, are starting at the same gun. They’re outcasts and oddballs, and yet they make their mature and adult relationship work under very dire circumstances. Plus, they had Molly Weasley’s seal of approval – if they’re good enough for Molly, they’re good enough for me!

Ifemelu and Obinze

Americanah - Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie - Book Laid on Wooden Table - Keeping Up With The Penguins

Americanah by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

If you feel yourself flagging in a long-distance relationship or post-break-up, Ifemelu and Obinze from Americanah might be the fictional couple that restores your faith. They, too, are torn apart by circumstance, and they go their separate ways, dating other people… only to come back together years later, because they were right for each other. The time apart, with all its opportunities for personal growth and life experience, only intensified their love and strengthened their bond. Never give up, if you love it set it free, etc.

Allie and Noah

The Notebook by Nicholas Sparks

Nicholas Sparks has been pretty much cancelled, I know, but I can’t shake my enduring affection for his most-recognisable fictional couple. In fact, this is one of the rare instances where I think the movie was better than the book, purely because Rachel McAdams and Ryan Gosling had such sizzling hot chemistry on-screen. I read and watched The Notebook for the first time in high school, which means my attachment to them is nostalgic, as well. Theirs is a beautiful (if tragic) story of enduring love.

Cathy and Heathcliff

Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte - Keeping Up With The Penguins

Wuthering Heights by Emily Brontë

Let me be clear: Cathy and Heathcliff should NOT be an aspirational fictional couple for you. At all. If you find yourself wanting a relationship like theirs, you might want to contact a therapist and talk some shit out. But they are, in my mind, the perfect example of two rotten eggs, fully deserving of each other, and ending up together (albeit in the afterlife). Actually, it’s probably a good thing that they never hooked up properly in Wuthering Heights; can you imagine the drama we’d have had to endure? Between Cathy’s histrionics and Heathcliff’s brooding, ugh. No thank you, please. Read my full review of Wuthering Heights here.

Ennis and Jack

Brokeback Mountain by Annie Proulx

It’s such a shame that Brokeback Mountain has become a bit of a punchline (Annie Proulx has said herself that she’s sick of talking about it), because the love story of Ennis and Jack is truly beautiful. Their romance is fraught, dangerous, and forbidden—and yet, they persist, coming back together like moths to the proverbial flame. Normally, I outright reject the collection of tropes I think of as the “gay misery parade” (why must we write as though all queer lives are slow-motion tragedies?), but in this case, I make an exception. Each time, I secretly hope Ennis and Jack get their happy ending, but (of course) they never do. As much as this fictional couple will break your heart, you’ll be glad of having had it broken.

And I can’t bring myself to end on that bum note, so how about another honourable mention: Ms Lolly Willowes, of Lolly Willowes, who happily enters into a life long relationship with Satan in order to get her pesky relatives out of her hair. Good on you, doll! Read my full review of Lolly Willowes here.


I’d really love to add more non-problematic couples to this list—especially queer romances with happy endings!—so if you’ve got any recommendations, please drop them in the comments below.

Want more? I’ve got plenty of romantic recommended reads for Valentine’s Day here – enjoy, lovers!

“You’re Not Good Enough”: Classic Books Edition

A little while ago, I came across this fun literary game on the amazing Fiction No Chaser blog. Here are the rules:

  • Write 30 character names on separate slips of paper
  • Put them all in a jar, and shake them up good
  • Randomly choose two names from the jar for each question

For each of the fifteen questions, you have to decide which of the two characters you’d choose, and which one is “not good enough”. Sounds fun, right? Jess and Teagan at Fiction No Chaser played using Harry Potter characters. I decided I’d try it with characters from classic books I’ve reviewed here on Keeping Up With The Penguins. Here goes…!

You're Not Good Enough Literary Game - Classic Books Edition - Keeping Up With The Penguins

1. You only have one more spot on your spelling bee team. Who do you pick?

Tom Sawyer (The Adventures of Tom Sawyer) or Ishmael (Moby Dick)

It’s got to be Ishmael! If he spent all that time reading up about whales, he’s surely picked up a decent vocabulary along the way.

2. Both characters want to kill you. Which one would you kill to save yourself?

Mr Hyde (Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde) or Toad (The Wind In The Willows)

Oh, if it’s within my power, I’m taking down Mr Hyde. I don’t like my chances, he’d probably be able to take me down with his brute strength, but I couldn’t possibly kill the lovable rogue Toad.

3. You’re on The Bachelor/Bachelorette, and you’re down to these two characters. To whom will you give the final rose?

Sherlock Holmes (The Adventures Of Sherlock Holmes) or Dr Frankenstein (Frankenstein)

Sherlock, no question! I feel like his super-powers of deduction and reasoning would come in handy in a relationship. Plus, Dr Frankenstein was a big ol’ whiner. I’d spend half my life reassuring him that he hadn’t destroyed humanity or whatever, and running from the vengeful monster…


4. You’ve been chosen to participate in The Hunger Games. Who would most likely volunteer in your place?

Huckleberry Finn (The Adventures Of Huckleberry Finn) or Alice (Alice’s Adventures In Wonderland)

Huck would jump in for me, for sure! He’d welcome the adventure, and surely fare better than poor innocent wide-eyed Alice.

5. You’re stranded on an island with an active volcano. Who would you throw into the volcano as a sacrifice?

Holden Caulfield (The Catcher In The Rye) or Jane Eyre (Jane Eyre)

Oh, this is a cruel choice! I guess I’d have to sacrifice Holden, though I do have a soft spot for that wayward ruffian…

6. You’re the next DC/Marvel superhero (with your own TV show, of course!). Who is your sidekick?

Raskolnikov (Crime And Punishment) or Jay Gatsby (The Great Gatsby)

There is no way I’d be able to put up with that creepy stalker nincompoop Jay Gatsby for more than five minutes – it’d turn me into a villain, for sure! Raskolnikov is my guy (at least I know he’s handy with an axe).


7. You’re the manager of an avocado-admiring company. Who would you fire for lack of communication skills?

Clarissa Dalloway (Mrs Dalloway) or Dr Watson (The Adventures Of Sherlock Holmes)

Yes, this is an extremely weird question, but a game’s a game. Dr Watson is a spectacular communicator, he narrates all of the Holmes stories and does a damn fine job, so Clarissa is a goner. She’s probably got a party to plan anyway, or flowers to buy, or something.

8. You’ve just finished a book in which your favourite character dies. Which character is most likely to comfort you?

Don Quixote (Don Quixote) or Lorelei Lee (Gentlemen Prefer Blondes)

Sheesh, I’m not sure either of them would be much comfort! Don Quixote would probably go charging off in search of the author, to avenge my grief, and get distracted along the way. Lorelei would probably just pour some champagne and take me out to a fancy party. Actually, that doesn’t sound so bad. Lorelei it is!

9. You’re back in high school. Who’s most likely to be part of the popular clique?

Clarissa Harlowe (Clarissa) or Robinson Crusoe (Robinson Crusoe)

I feel like Crusoe would more likely have been the weird kid, trying to impress people by jumping off the roof or rolling around in the mud. Clarissa was an elegant and refined lady, so she was probably no Regina George, but she would’ve been popular nonetheless.


10. The day has arrived: you’re finally a year older! Who would have the nerve to forget your birthday?

Jo March (Little Women) or Hester Pyrne (The Scarlet Letter)

Jo would never do such a thing to me! It’d be Hester for sure. She’s too preoccupied, with fending off village gossip and lusting after her baby daddy and raising her kid and everything.

11. Who would be the next big BookTube star?

Elizabeth Bennet (Pride And Prejudice) or Mr Darcy (Pride And Prejudice)

This is the ultimate showdown! It’s almost too hard to choose… but I think it would be Lizzy. Mr Darcy would think that YouTube stardom was beneath him, or some snooty shit like that. Still, I like to think once they were married and happy, and they’d got over all their pride and prejudice, they’d make a cute BookTube duo and do videos together.

12. Sleepover time! You can only invite one person. Who would it be?

David Copperfield (David Copperfield) or Heathcliff (Wuthering Heights)

Look, I’m going to make an unexpected choice here. I’ve made no secret of the fact that I think Heathcliff is a knob… but I’d kind of want to hang out with him a bit, just to see what all the fuss is about. Bonus points if Cathy’s ghost shows up, and I get to see them go into full across-the-divide breakdown mode.


13. Bam, you’re pregnant! Who is the father/mother?

Captain Ahab (Moby Dick) or Lemuel Gulliver (Gulliver’s Travels)

Why do I get two men who both go gallivanting off around the world with little regard for the wives and families they leave at home alone for years at a time? Ugh! I think I’d go with Ahab. At least he had passion, I can respect that. Gulliver was a real prick to his wife, especially in the end, and I’d hate to be tethered to his high-and-mighty sanctimoniousness for life.

14. You’ve just sent a super-important text message. Who would leave you on Read?

Dr Jekyll (Strange Case Of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde) or Dorian Gray (The Picture Of Dorian Gray)

Both of them! Literally, both of them are too self-absorbed to bother responding to my text messages. Well, Dr Jekyll might get back to me someday, on his deathbed maybe…

15. You’ve just woken up in your childhood home, and it’s time for breakfast. Your mother is gone, and replaced with…?

Mr Rochester (Jane Eyre) or Emma Woodhouse (Emma)

Oh, I hope it would be Emma! For all her faults, she did a wonderful job of taking care of her father, and I’m sure she’d cook up something delicious (or have her household staff do it, at least).




That was fun, for something different! If you give it a go, be sure to drop a link in the comments below so I can check it out. Did I make a bad call on any of these? Let me know!


10 Things That Will Make Me Pick Up A Book

It’s the bookworm’s perpetual dilemma, wondering what to read next: how to choose from that towering to-be-read pile? Whenever I’m perusing my own shelves, or those of a bookstore or library, there are a few things that will always push me to pick one book over another. I saw a little while back that The Hungry Bookworm did a post on this very topic as part of a Top Ten Tuesday prompt (hosted by The Artsy Reader Girl), so I thought I’d borrow the idea. Here are ten things that will make me pick up a book (almost) every time…

1. The book is about an experience that’s different to my own or unfamiliar to me.

As far as I’m concerned, one of the best things about reading is getting to live a thousand lives. Whether it’s the chance to be an ageing gay man travelling the world, or the American children of Chinese immigrants, or the founder of an underground book club for women in Iran, I want to live it all through literature. Bonus points if it’s an #ownvoices book – I’m far more likely to pick it up if that’s the case!

2. The book has beautiful cover art.

Save your “don’t judge a book” speech. I’m really not that fussy about my book covers, not in the way I know some other booklovers are. I once knew a woman who would only read first-edition hardcovers, can you imagine? I’m fine with movie poster covers or plain-Jane block lettering on a pastel background… but I can’t deny there’s a special place in my heart for beautifully designed paperbacks. I love covers that catch the eye with clever design and colour!

3. I’ve heard other readers talk about the book (even if they hated it).

I have a hard time convincing authors that even bad reviews can be a good thing. I’ve picked up more than a few books after hearing critical comments from others, and loved them. Word of mouth is still the most powerful marketing tool when it comes to books, and I’m far more likely to pick up a book if someone else has talked to me about it. That’s why it’s so important that we booklovers take the time to leave a short review on sites like Goodreads and Litsy – whether what you have to say about the book is good, bad, or somewhere in between.

4. The book has a premise that bowls me over.

A judge is called to the case of a seventeen-year-old boy refusing medical treatment on religious grounds, and she must decide whether to force him to live or let him die. A man tracks down the victims of vicious online public shaming, and uses them as a lens through which we can examine our digital world. A small town wakes to find that overnight the ocean has receded. Don’t they all sound really good? I’m a sucker for a strong premise, no matter the subject or genre. If a one-sentence summary of the book makes me go “ooooh!”, I’m picking it up for sure!

5. The author wrote another book that I loved.

I picked up Great Expectations because Charles Dickens knocked it out of the park with David Copperfield. I picked up Purple Hibiscus because Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie killed it with Americanah (also because the two editions had beautiful matching cover art – see point number 2). I picked up Depends What You Mean By Extremist because I found John Safran’s Murder In Mississippi so gripping. This strategy doesn’t always outright guarantee a great read, but it usually works.

6. The book suits my mood at the time.

Sometimes, I’m looking for a book that will affirm whatever I’m currently feeling. In that case, say I was experiencing a loss, I might turn to The Year Of Magical Thinking. Other times, I’m looking for a book to take my mind off things. Then, if I was feeling down, I might pick up The One Hundred Year Old Man Who Climbed Out The Window And Disappeared for a few laughs. I hold off on books that are heavier or more challenging until I’m in a good frame of mind; that way, I can be sure I’ll handle it and get everything out of the book that I can. My attempt to read Wuthering Heights when I was emotionally preoccupied was a total disaster!

7. It’s a non-fiction book on a niche subject.

I love a book that delves into the nitty-gritty of something! I tore through a 450+ page history of the humble mosquito. I adored The White Mouse, a small print-run autobiography of an amazing woman of whom most people have never heard. I’m really looking forward to learning how Proust might change my life from Alain de Botton’s book. As long as the author is passionate and excited about their subject, no matter what it is, I’ll get passionate and excited, too!

8. It’s a pervasive and influential book that I’ve seen referenced elsewhere.

Vanity Fair was named for a setting in John Bunyan’s The Pilgrim’s Progress. A colleague who transferred left me a farewell note that said “so long, and thanks for all the fish” – I had no idea what that meant until I finally read The Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy. There’s an Alabama legal society named for the fictional Atticus Finch. I love picking up books that help me understand the origins of concepts, characters, idioms, and ideas we take for granted.

9. The book is different in content and style to whatever I’ve read most recently.

I know a lot of readers love to do “book flights” (which I call falling down a reading rabbit hole). They find a subject or a writer or a genre, and read as many books in that one area as they can until they get tired of it or find something new or exhaust their options. I’m not one of those readers. My tolerance for same-ness is usually one book. Occasionally, usually by accident, I’ll read a couple of similar books back-to-back, and it always makes me antsy. It’s a one-way ticket to Reading Slumpville! So, if I’ve just read a gritty account of an Australian true crime, I might reach for a classic romance or a collection of essays next, just to keep things varied and interesting.

10. The book was shortlisted for an award.

Note that I do say shortlisted – I don’t pay all that much attention to the actual winners of major literary awards. In fact, I usually don’t realise that a book has actually won a prize until after I’ve finished reading it and I’m starting to write up a review. I do, however, really enjoy looking over award shortlists. I always end up adding most (or all) of them to my to-be-read list. With the growing push for diversity and inclusion, these lists are usually goldmines of wonderfully varied reads with literary chops. Plus, picking a winner is basically a crapshoot, so I may as well just read them all and love them all for what they are!



What makes you pick up a book? Do you go for cover art as well? Do you stick with your favourite authors or genres? Or is it something else entirely that makes you pull one down from the shelf? Tell me in the comments!

7 Classic Books For People Who Don’t Read The Classics

Are you still searching for a bookish new year’s resolution? “Start reading the classics” might be a good one, but I wouldn’t blame you if you were feeling a bit intimidated. Classic books have a reputation for being long, dense, and difficult to understand. If you were forced to read a few in high school, that was probably enough to put you off them for life. The trick is to find a few that will ease you in. That’s why I’ve put together this list of classic books for people who don’t read classic books. I tried to pick classics that are easy to read, in terms of both language and content (no trigger warnings required, though there will always be some darker themes, can’t avoid those). These reads will get you into the rhythm, and hopefully help you develop a taste for classic books.

Classic-Books-For-People-Who-Dont-Read-The-Classics-Text-Overlaid-on-Image-of-Man-in-Hat-Sitting-at-Bottom-of-Flight-of-Stairs-Keeping-Up-With-The-Penguins

Jane Eyre by Charlotte Brontë

Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte - Keeping Up With The Penguins

Charlotte Brontë has been called the “first historian of private consciousness”, which means she was one of the first writers to do first-person narration really, really well. Jane Eyre is the story of a young woman (named Jane Eyre, duh) coming of age in Victorian England. She’s a bit down on her luck, with dead parents and mean stepsisters and everything, but a position as a governess for a strange and alluring man could turn things all around for her… It’s the perfect classic to start with if you’ve got feminist leanings but you’re still a sucker for a good romance. Read my full review here.

The Adventures Of Sherlock Holmes by Arthur Conan Doyle

The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Arthur Conan Doyle - Keeping Up With The Penguins

You might think you’re already familiar with Sherlock Holmes – he is, after all, the world’s most famous fictional detective, and one of the most commonly used and adapted characters in English literature. All that familiarity and context will make Doyle’s original short story collection, The Adventures Of Sherlock Holmes, a fun and easy read. Even if you’ve been living under the world’s largest rock and know nothing about Holmes and his trusty sidekick Dr Watson, you’ll still find these stories are quick, clever, and rollicking good fun. Read my full review here.

The Age Of Innocence by Edith Wharton

The Age Of Innocence - Edith Wharton - Book Laid Flat on Wooden Table - Keeping Up With The Penguins

In addition to a classic book with an intricate love triangle, when you pick up The Age Of Innocence you’ll also get a piece of history. It’s written in remembrance of a long-lost time, that of Gilded Age New York, and it’s also the first book written by a woman to win the Pulitzer Prize. That makes Wharton a trailblazer, as well as a teller of cracking yarns. You do need to keep your wits about you as you read this one, because she weaves all kinds of interesting comments and observations into passages as simple as the description of a house facade. If you want a classic book you can sink your teeth into, on a long flight perhaps, this is the one for you! Read my full review here.

David Copperfield by Charles Dickens

David Copperfield - Charles Dickens - two volume green hardcover set laid on wooden table - Keeping Up With The Penguins

I know I promised you some short and snappy classic reads, so I understand if you’re looking at a copy of David Copperfield right now and thinking I’ve led you up the garden path. The thing is, even though this is a long book in terms of page count, I was so enthralled by it and the pages flew by so fast that it felt like a regular-length novel. It’s written in the style of an autobiography, telling the life story of (you guessed it) a man called David Copperfield. Dickens was the master of writing something for everyone; he knew that his books were used for family entertainment, so he weaved in politics, romance, adventure, and intrigue, and seasoned it with humour and horror, to make sure readers of all ages and inclinations would enjoy his books. Read my full review here.

Little Women by Louisa May Alcott

Little Women - Louisa May Alcott - Book Laid on Wooden Table - Keeping Up With The Penguins

Little Women wasn’t even considered to be a “real” classic until very recently. It has historically been written off as sentimental fluff, and many critical readers have turned their noses up at it. Luckily, I’m here to testify the truth of the matter, just for you Keeper-Upperers: this book is brilliant. Yes, it’s easy to read, and yes, at face value it can come across a little earnest, but lurking below the surface are all manner of feminist principles and class commentary and Alcott’s trademark subversion of expectations. I’m glad to see it has claimed its rightful place in the American literary canon! This is the classic book to read when you want a cozy family story with an edge. Read my full review here.

Emma by Jane Austen

Emma - Jane Austen - book laid on a wooden table - Keeping Up With The Penguins

It took me a while, but I’m finally coming around to Austen, and to Emma in particular. I know most readers would probably recommend Pride And Prejudice for first-timers, but I actually found Emma to be a better introduction. It’s a gentle book, in the sense that most of the action takes place around bored wealthy white people visiting each other’s houses, but it’s also incredibly clever and witty and wise. Emma is a book that will marinate in your mind long after you’ve finished it. Pick it up if for no other reason than to find out what all the fuss is about. Read my full review here.

Frankenstein by Mary Shelley

Frankenstein - Mary Shelley - Book Laid on Wooden Table - Keeping Up With The Penguins

Mary Shelley put pen to paper and created Frankenstein in order to win a bet, and with that the whole genre of science fiction was born. If you’re a sci-fi reader, you should read this one to see the origins of your preferred genre brought to life (much like the monster, ha!). It’s written in an epistolary style – in letters, and diary entries, and so forth – which means it’s easy enough to pick up and put down, great for reading when you’re likely to experience distractions. That said, you’ll never want to put it down, because it’s just so gripping! Read my full review here.



What classic books would you recommend to people who don’t normally read classic books? Add to this reading list in the comments below!

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